"I'm sorry to report this, but The Matrix Reloaded sucks a big one. Like almost everyone else in the world, I enjoyed the first Matrix enough to watch it half a dozen times. I just loved the message - $90 million worth of special effects and still nothing looks better than a woman's ass in tight vinyl."

"Oh, the dialogue is cornball, too. I mean, the most entertaining part of the movie was when the asshole sitting behind me actually answered his fucking cell phone and said, "I'm in the Matrix, dawg. This shit is tight!""

"Basically, where the Wachowskis fucked up. Ambitious? Maybe if I was trying to explain how The Unforgiven could be improved upon, but in the case of the second Matrix installment, your family pet could probably have come up with a better script. By crapping on the rug."

"Before we get into that though, I need to point out that the Wachowskis fell victim to George Lucas's disease. Millions upon Millions of dollars, enough computers to run NASA and an uncontrollable media chorus singing the praises of your "brilliance" seems to cause this ailment. Think James Cameron.
Basically, just because computers and $350 million dollars give you the ability to do anything you want, doesn't mean that you automatically have to do so. But, the Wachowskis, like the terminally ill Lucas before them, do. Story be damned. Viewers be damned. Common sense be damned. "We can make everything blink and beep constantly? Cool." Funny how it only took the Wachowskis only 4 years to fall victim to this seemingly irreversible and fatal affliction, where as it took Lucas about 22 years to succumb."

Ok, er scheint ein Problem mit Monica Bellucci zu haben; vielleicht kennt er die richtig guten Filme mit ihr ja nur noch nicht, Malena, Dobermann. Aber in Reloaded ist sie wirklich schlecht plaziert, deshalb geht der hier schon in Ordnung "Before the Breast-Implants only Lars van Triers Would Hire Her"

"Another improvement: There are these two albino rasta-guys (This whole movie played like the Poochie Simpsons episode... "Sunglasses means attitude") who can literally turn into vapor and crawl under floors and teleport around and shit.
...
However, they get involved in a car chase. Look, and I am sure someone else has said this, but if you can instantly appear anywhere, what the fuck do you need a Cadillac Escalade EXT for? Right, you wouldn't. You could just float down the highway and attack."

"Splinter Cell for My XBOX has Noticeably Better Graphics"